I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
