Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I will pee on everything he values.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
is it fun? or sober?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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