I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
