somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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