The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
