You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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