i think my tv is drunk
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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