Three words: puerto rican gang bang
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
