i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
