you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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