I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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