New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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