she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
