i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
