I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
