What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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