Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Someone came in the potted fern
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
