Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
