Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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