when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
