I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
