That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
