Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
