Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
