She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
