We named our party play list daddy issues
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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