i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
