I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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