her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
