Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
