Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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