I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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