I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
