Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize