id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
