he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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