Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
