I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
