you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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