Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize