Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
