I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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