Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
