The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
