Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Randomize
