she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
