Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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