I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
