Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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