dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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