thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
