She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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