READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
