It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She even gives head with a lisp.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
