Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
