So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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