I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
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