Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
