please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I cockslap morals
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
