I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Randomize