I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
