But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
