so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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